I CHOOSE to struggle from paycheck to paycheck
Said no one as they sat with their first cup of coffee upon waking. I think more likely, it would be – ‘I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!’ Oh, another one… ‘I hate my job!’ OOH! OOH! Here is one… ‘Do you think I will get fired if I call in sick today?’ Or maybe this one…
Sound familiar? If so, you will want to read on.
Where did It Begin
Many years ago in a galaxy far far away, a traditional upbringing was sent my way. I learned to walk and talk in the first couple of years and then spent a few years being told to shut up and sit down. Conflictual information began at a very young age. I am sure you can remember a few things that started you on the road of insecurity regarding what you know as right and wrong. Oh, don’t get me wrong.. We knew jumping on the couch was wrong and we knew why. Mostly it was because someone ‘said so.’
Parents always have great intentions. The unfortunate thing about parenting is that there really is not a formulated set of rules to follow. Yes, there are some common sense rules such as don’t beat your child and feed them and make sure they get good sleep. But….
How Did It Happen
Repetition and redundant statements. Think about how many times in your childhood you were told to do something because someone said so. How many times you were told to do something because it was good for you. How many times you were told to do something because it was the right thing to do or because it is how we do it. Our lives began with preconditioning. Most of us were preconditioned to follow the crowd, to do the right thing according to someone else’s view of what the right thing is.
Do you remember ever really stepping outside of your norm to question what is right FOR YOU? Or did you simply go along with what you were taught and get educated in something and find a ‘J.O.B.’ (just over broke). We are raised to become contributing citizens. Raised and formatted to perform a certain way that was determined for us by someone else – with our very best interest at heart – of course.
Then we were sent off to school where we were taught to sit and listen, read and learn, follow and obey. I think this paints a pretty clear picture of how it happened. Through no fault of our own, we push forward believing that this is the life for us and we chose it. We did not. It was chosen for us and it is time to ask that very important question…..
Is it ‘Fixable‘
You could search the internet to find answers to almost any question. But, I am sorry to say this is not one of them. This is your life. It is controlled by only one person – YOU. You are the Overseer of your domain, of your castle, of your life. It is that simple. Only you can determine if it is ‘fixable’.
Maybe it is time for you to sit quiet for a moment and ask yourself a few very relevant questions. For example, you could do some soul-searching and figure out who is in control of your life. You could try to answer the question of why that person is in control of your life and if that is how it should be – someone else in control of your life. Do not mistake my comment for compromise within a marriage, or consideration for others feelings.
Consider your potential destiny. Can you see yourself living a better life – with everyone that is in your life right now continuing to be in your life… doesn’t bettering yourself end up better for all around you? So look at that fine line of your choices. My defining question is this: When I am laying on my death bed (supposing I have that moment of reflection), am I going to regret doing this, or regret not doing this? They say once the mind expands, it can never go back to its original size. I believe that is true. You can not unlearn something. Yes you can forget but you can not unlearn something. And once you have grown, you can not change the effect. So, are you expanding your mind? Do YOU think it is ‘Fixable’?
How Many Reasons Do I Need?
- How many dreams do you have?
- How tired are you of things in your life as they are now?
- Can you see yourself making more money?
- Can you see yourself with more time for family and friends?
- Would you like to go on vacation and work when YOU want to work?
- Wouldn’t you like to take a day off because you WANTED to?
Can I Achieve Success?
Only one person can answer this question. I would like to implement a bit of critical thinking here. Learn by example. The best example for this discussion is YOU.
I have to ask you a few questions and I am sure you will get where this is leading to in a moment. So, without further a due….
- When you were a small child, did you learn to use the potty? Yes.
- Did you learn to walk? Yes
- Did you learn to talk? Yes
- Did you learn to feed yourself? Yes
- Did you learn to dress? Yes
- Did you learn to run? Yes
- Did you learn to follow instruction? Yes
- Did you learn to add, subtract, multiply, divide? Yes
- Did you learn to read? Yes
- Did you learn to color? Yes
- Did you learn to open a door, close a door, open a window, close a window? Yes
- Did you learn to drive a car, a bicycle, a trike, roller skates, roller-blades, water ski, swim, scuba dive?
All the above things you learned to do, some you learned before you even knew you were learning or why. Yet you succeeded. You continued to succeed right up to where you are today. I am sure if you look at failures in your life, you could probably see how you set yourself up to fail. You quit, somehow you did not create the plan of success and it fell short somehow so instead of pushing forward, you walked away. There is only one reason for failure, not finishing. You can choose to succeed simply by deciding not to quit no matter what.
Where There is a Will – There is a Way.
I could no doubt continue this list of questions indefinitely, right? I am sure the list of all you have learned is incredibly long. So, the better question to ask here is not ‘Can I achieve success?’. The better question is are you willing to begin and dedicate yourself to Your success? Because the only reason… and Yes, I mean the only reason you wouldn’t achieve success is because you chose to not follow through.
I will tell you a little secret about myself. My family life as a child was not a really pretty one. I am from an alcoholic family. Both my parents were severe alcoholics. I spent many years of my childhood trying to get away from both of them. (I am a very strong person because of my life and I am not saying this for sympathy so please look beyond that aspect of what I am saying).
Because of my choices growing up, I ended up dropping out of school from the 7th grade. My point is that we choose to succeed or not to succeed. With a 7th grade education at 14 years old, I was adjudicated a P.I.N.S. petition in family court. That is a ‘person in need of supervision’. At 15 years old, I became a ward of the state.
At the ripe age of 44, I decided it was my time. I had done the family thing. Raised a beautiful son and was ready for my light to shine. After dropping out of school in the 7th grade, I applied to University – and got accepted! Almost 30 years later, I went back to school. In December 2015 I graduated with a Masters in Higher Education ‘Summa Cum Laude’ with a perfect 4.0!
I am hoping you are getting my point. It is YOUR life. It is YOUR choice to succeed or quit. Is it Fixable? You tell me!
Where Do I Begin?
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See you on the other side!!!